I woke up this morning to heavy rain outside and decided it would be a great day to just sleep in and putter around the house.....I also realized that I missed blogging and wanted to start again.
There have been so many ups and downs in the last few weeks....trying to work through all the paperwork, wanting to ask John about how something was handled and realizing I can't do that any more....and trying to find out who I am now.
I was so blessed to be married to someone that was my biggest cheerleader....I grew up always hearing the negative about anything you wanted to do....but with John, I only heard "why not"? Even with this encouragement, because of John's extended illness...there were alot of things that were put on hold..... And now I need to figure out where I am going, what I am going to do, what life if going to look like now and who I am. It will be different, but it can be good...and that is what I am trying to focus on.
I guess I really began to think of this while at one of the many office visits one of the papers I had to sign said "marriage ended due to death".....I realized that I was no longer a "wife"..something that I have been for so long that I have forgotten what time was like before there was someone else.
So that is where I am right now.....I am trying to figure out what I am going to be doing....part of it depends on what I find out from the VA and such....I know that I am eligible to go back to school (this was something that John and I had talked about me looking in to for January)...going back to work (great timing on this with the economy)....and figuring out what craft shows that I can get ready for.....trying to get some things together for Etsy and my selling blog... Just working on that one step in front of the other stuff.
I did read a blog today that dedicates her Sunday posts to a prayer for the week....and asking for grace.... I like that, and I may borrow that for my blog in the future too.
Once again...thank you all for your prayers, comments and friendship....I am trying to move forward....and want to begin to blog again on the good stuff.... And all the while remembering:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) Amen.
Hugs to you all!!!!
Debbie
Oh, my dear. You are so strong - you're an inspiration to all of us. It will be interesting to see where you go from here. We're all thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteThere you are! Nice to see you posting. :) You are still you, the same wonderful, loving, caring person you have always been.
ReplyDeleteGood to see your post! Been thinking about you...
ReplyDeleteDebbie~ I am so glad to see you posting again...I am still praying for you and your family. Take it easy and don't rush anything.It will all work out in God's time..I am still going with the end of July for our FRIENDS swap, are you still wanting to do this?? I can totally understand if you are not wanting to and it will not hurt my feelings at all..let me know.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,Joann
This post moves me to tears, trying to imagine what it must be like for you going through so many different emotions on a continuous basis. Big hugs to you Debbie.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to hear from you again. It sounds like you are a very strong woman. I can tell that you are going to have a wonderful future. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be going through all that comes with losing a spouse after so many years. I would totally not know where to turn.
ReplyDeleteOhh Deb my heart tugged reading that part about "not being a wife"....You will always be Johns wife but I can feel your pain...biggest hugsssss
ReplyDeleteKhris