Hello....
Thanks for the prayers and for the concern....I so appreciate all of you. Time has been limited....I can check facebook and twitter on my phone at the hospital--sometimes, seems like wifi is very spotty there.
There is no change in John...other than they now have him resting comfortably. They are giving him an anti-anxiety drug to help him...which has really made a difference and he is now resting so much better. We had a new doctor this morning that is checking into some things...they are all stumped so far about what could have happened. I think that is the hardest part, not knowing...the questioning if you could have done something different....all those things that are up in the air right now.
We have a social worker-counselor-chaplin-hospice nurses....these people are serious about making sure you get through this. For the most part they have been kind....but in some ways it feels like they are moving this along way to fast. I want to know that we aren't missing something...that we don't just give up. But then you have to consider all the possibilities...what you are going to do in all scenerios......that is when it just hits you like waves. I find that I think I have it together and am getting through.....then I make a call to tell someone or run into someone that wants to know what happened and in the middle of the story it just becomes "real" and it hits you again. Frankly...this journey sucks. And you could sink into that so easily.......
But then you get the chance to see grace at work.....beautiful white flowers that arrive just at the right time....nurses who have a sarcastic streak and like to tease--it so breaks the tension and gives us a chance to step out of the hurt for a bit....doctors who take the time to explain what is going on at each step.....nurses, aides, doctors who speak directly to John when they visit, acknowledge him and include him so that he knows he is not forgotten....friends and neighbors that have reached out.....family that have stepped in to take shifts so John is never alone and churches that have prayed and continue to pray for John and for us.....things that have happened that have protected us from making some mistakes.....a tax check that showed up to really help at this time.....big things, little things, but all things delivered with grace....from One that knows the beginning and end of this story.....and right now I have to blindly trust in that...and know that all is well.
Hugs,
Debbie
Thanks for the prayers and for the concern....I so appreciate all of you. Time has been limited....I can check facebook and twitter on my phone at the hospital--sometimes, seems like wifi is very spotty there.
There is no change in John...other than they now have him resting comfortably. They are giving him an anti-anxiety drug to help him...which has really made a difference and he is now resting so much better. We had a new doctor this morning that is checking into some things...they are all stumped so far about what could have happened. I think that is the hardest part, not knowing...the questioning if you could have done something different....all those things that are up in the air right now.
We have a social worker-counselor-chaplin-hospice nurses....these people are serious about making sure you get through this. For the most part they have been kind....but in some ways it feels like they are moving this along way to fast. I want to know that we aren't missing something...that we don't just give up. But then you have to consider all the possibilities...what you are going to do in all scenerios......that is when it just hits you like waves. I find that I think I have it together and am getting through.....then I make a call to tell someone or run into someone that wants to know what happened and in the middle of the story it just becomes "real" and it hits you again. Frankly...this journey sucks. And you could sink into that so easily.......
But then you get the chance to see grace at work.....beautiful white flowers that arrive just at the right time....nurses who have a sarcastic streak and like to tease--it so breaks the tension and gives us a chance to step out of the hurt for a bit....doctors who take the time to explain what is going on at each step.....nurses, aides, doctors who speak directly to John when they visit, acknowledge him and include him so that he knows he is not forgotten....friends and neighbors that have reached out.....family that have stepped in to take shifts so John is never alone and churches that have prayed and continue to pray for John and for us.....things that have happened that have protected us from making some mistakes.....a tax check that showed up to really help at this time.....big things, little things, but all things delivered with grace....from One that knows the beginning and end of this story.....and right now I have to blindly trust in that...and know that all is well.
Hugs,
Debbie
Our continued love and prayers. You know how to reach us day and night.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Jen
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you Debbie. Waiting day and night to hear word of a miracle, sounds like you've had a few by way of the things that you've written of here. May God wrap his sweet arms around all of you.
ReplyDeleteDebbie~ I am so sorry to hear all that your family has been going through. I am praying for you all. I thought I had left a comment on Saturday's post but I guess I didn't. Please keep us updated when you can.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,Joann
Thank you for the update. We are all praying for you and John and your entire family. If you need to talk, e-mail me at trp100329(at)cs.com and I'll give you a phone number. I'm a nurse - I was a critical care nurse for ten years before going back to anesthesia school. If I can help, let me know.
ReplyDeleteI've had you on my mind ever since I read your post the other day. I was glad to see an update. I will continue to send prayers your way. the not knowing is so hard. Blind faith is so hard, too.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my prayers. My hubby was released from the hospital yesterday. Unfortunately, we don't have any answers either. It's very frustrating, so I know exactly how you feel about the not knowing. It's really hard to let go of the worry.
ReplyDelete