Sunday, September 07, 2008

From The Outside In....

I am not sure how to start this message....but here goes. I grew up in a Christian family with lots of rules and chapter and verse for most of them, just the knowledge they were the final authority on how people should act, where they could go, who they could be seen with and how they should dress. At some point in growing up, I figured out that most of it was more than a little out there...and considered the source and moved on. Maybe because of that, there are things I don't pay that much attention to...that maybe I should. But I think all of us, somewhere inside has that book of rules and regulations...some are positive and some are not. What made me think of this was hearing someone talk about a friend and how "they hadn't called" and "were they mad at them" and "why couldn't they go with them" to some apparently important event. I started thinking about what this gal was saying and how some of it could apply to me....calls that hadn't been returned, emails that I am desperately behind on. The problem is, many times we just look at the other person through our own life vision.....and not with the reality of what they may be going through.

I don't often talk about the health issues that we deal with here at home. Basically, because other than to vent on occasion to a friend, I don't think anyone cares to hear about it....and it is just our "life" so I don't get dwelling on it. But I shared with some online friends something that had happened here at home....and I was overwhelmed with their response and thoughtful replies..... so I thought I would post it here. It is nothing that dramatic....but I think sometimes we need that reminder that the neighbor that barely speaks when she comes in from work may be just so burdened that she just wants to get home to escape.....that friend that hasn't called may not want to bother anyone else with the problems she is going through. We like to think we know our friends, neighbors, families well....but truly, unless you are inside the four walls they live in....we truly don't know. And because of that....looking at them with "grace" is so important.

My husband is a disabled Vietnam vet.....he has had health problems for some time and they had steadily gotten worse. There are days you wouldn't know anything was wrong....and there are days when his meds for one reason or another just aren't working right. So we might have several days of no sleep.....or awaken to find that he wanted to straighten up somewhere in the house and there are pantries, closets, drawers emptied around that house that have to be dealt with. As aggravating as this can be some days.....I do know, that things could be much worse.

So, this last week, I found him rummaging around in the garage. I went out to see if I could help and asked what he was looking for. He told me he needed to find the floral foam. Ok, I asked what for.....I got that look of "are you just stupid" and was told "For the flowers, of course." Allllrighty, I tried to figure out if he had some real flowers, fake flowers or what the heck he needed it for. Well, he told me that he was trying to get them to stand up. I tried helping with a vase or with something else and nothing was what he needed. So I decided to back off and let him work on this. Later he came to me with a teacup full of roses he had picked for was soooo darn sweet. As I started to take a big whiff..I asked if he had put an aspirin in it to keep them fresh....he said no, he had found something else to perk them up. Yes, he did....about that time I got a big whiff of TACO SEASONING!!!! Let me just say, I wouldn't recommend this for you to use at home. LOL

There are many of these moments, as well as the ones that make you want to go to bed pull up the sheets and hide for awhile....but that really isn't an option.
I am writing this because I know there are many of you caring for a spouse, a child, a parent or other loved one....and I want you to know that "I get it". Know there is someone else out here that sends you huge hugs.....days with "taco" roses.....and smiles to carry you through the tough stuff.

But even more than that.....I know a Savior that loves us just where we are...when times are scary, dark, and lonely.....and when there is joy that overflows. He is always there for the good stuff as well as the bad and he will hold you through it all.

Just a are not alone.
Sending you hugs....and a taco rose!

John 14:27... My peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid.


  1. I know I already said this, but Big hugs going out to you!
    And I think you bring up such a great point, to look at others with grace as often as possible. It's so easy to forget to do this when we are so wrapped up in what's going on within our own lives...
    Great post.
    Love Tiff

  2. This was a wonderful post. Thank you.

  3. What a wonderful post! You seem to have learned how to take this all in stride, yet I am sure that it ca get stressful. Thank you for sharing your story.


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